Students from all over the United States were interviewed by the New York Times on their experience as a teenager on the pressure to be perfect. As high school students, we are asked to balance many things, oftentimes seeing our responsibilities multiply as we become upperclassmen. Study for the ACT, do your homework, study for your tests, work a part time job, volunteer, study for your finals, apply to college— all of these things piling up on top of one another can be extremely overwhelming for people who are still so young. A couple of these responses to the New York Times evaluation were local, with students from Normal, Illinois being interviewed.
There were two students from Normal selected to participate in the survey, and each of them noted multiple stressors in their lives that make them feel a pressure to be perfect. Hugh, a student in Normal, stated that he feels the most pressure to be perfect inside of the classroom. “Throughout my entire life I’ve been seen as a smart kid, so it’s become an expectation that I get good grades and do very well.” Constantly being seen as a smart kid can become debilitating when it is no longer seen as an achievement, but as an expectation. This is one of the most common reasons that a student becomes overwhelmed or “burnt out”. The other Normal student, Henrik, notes that his feelings of being pressured to be perfect stem from being the oldest of his siblings. “Being the person to look up to by my younger family members is a privilege, but also can be a difficult task because after all I am a boy in high school that has many mistakes to learn from in the future as well.” Being the individual in your family to “set the example” can be, as Henrik stated, a privilege, but can also become very debilitating when you feel as though you have no room to make mistakes.
Many students have multiple things to balance outside of the classroom as well. Whether this includes extracurriculars, volunteering, a part time job, or a sport, these things can quickly pile up and become overwhelming. One of Dee-Mack’s very own, junior Addison Born, is involved in St. Jude fundraisers, student council, ice skating, and she is the captain of our spirit team! Addison notes that some of the things that motivate her are that she likes making her mom proud of her and she doesn’t enjoy having nothing to do. When asked if she feels a pressure to be perfect, she said “I have always been a perfectionist so I put a lot of pressure on myself, but I still have days when I need a break & it’s okay to take one.” Addison says that something that helps her balance everything is keeping a calendar with her at all times and using her free time to complete day-to-day tasks.
Although students are the ultimate victims to this pressure to be perfect, teachers are not blind to it. Mrs. McLemore, whom her students lovingly call Mrs. Mac, teaches biology here at Dee-Mack, and her students range all the way from freshmen in Biology 1 to seniors in AP Biology. As she teaches all grade levels and has been both a teacher and a staple in our community here at school for many years, we talked to her about how she handles students who may be struggling with these feelings of having to be perfect! When she was asked if there was a noticeable difference in performance with students balancing multiple activities and those who don’t, she stated “Of course, not all students are equal in their abilities to maintain that delicate balance of dividing their time effectively between academics, sports, jobs, etc. I’ve seen some students who make this juggling act seem easy and others who shift their focus back and forth between responsibilities and find that when one area excels, another falls behind.” She also noted that at times, students who are balancing many things tend to perform better inside the classroom, as they have polished time management skills. When asked if she thinks that students should feel a pressure to be perfect at such a young age, she stated “I wish students didn’t feel pressure to be perfect, but I understand it. When all the adults around you set lofty expectations and you have your own goals, too, there can be a lot of pressure. It’s easier said than done, but you don’t need to compare yourself to others, and you don’t need to strive for perfection. Set your goals and prioritize the steps that will get you there. But remember that you are only human and you are bound to come up short sometimes. It’s ok to make mistakes. That is when we learn and grow to be better versions of ourselves. Not perfect, but the best version we can be today.”
As high school students, it can be easy to become overwhelmed with all the things you are asked to balance. If you are feeling an intense pressure to be perfect, try to take a breath and remember both Addison and Mrs. Mac’s advice. These feelings are both very real and very valid, and if you find yourself in a difficult place and struggling to keep up with everything, try reaching out to your teachers as well. All of our wonderful teachers here will be willing to work with you and help you both get caught up and find a way to manage. Make sure you keep your head up and remember, you have time!
