Every good thing must have an ending at some point. This also applies to everything bad. Last year was such a roller coaster year that I had zero clue of how to deal with all of it. Dealing with a breakup with a boyfriend and best friend was not on the bingo card for 2024, but here we are. Getting diagnosed with anxiety and depression also wasn’t, but hey you win some, you lose some. As a person, I started to understand how to handle myself in times of trouble. I doubted myself a lot before I gained confidence to actually go on with my life in a healthy way.
If tears are flowing every single night and you aren’t sad, what’s wrong with you? That’s the question I asked myself every single day while wondering what was going on or why I felt this way. I tried to act like everything was fine but was simply unable to feel like myself. I felt like I was just surviving life instead of living it. I got to the point where I couldn’t do every day tasks and would break down randomly interfering with the way I live. This made me realize that I had a problem so I finally reached out to my mom who scheduled an appointment with my doctor to get me on medicine. This medicine had a tremendous impact physically but also helped me realize that its okay to talk about things. It is okay to feel your feelings even if it upsets other people. You have to do what is best for you regardless of outside influences.
Losing both the people that you relied on the majority of your happiness can take quite the toll. I should know I lost both for a month and then the boyfriend for good in November. You really do go through the stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. The bargaining is the worst part in my opinion because you want to try and talk to them but know that you can’t. You think of every possible thing you can do to try and make things better even if they should just be let go. Every step you take you feel like you’re going to break. Your entire world feels different and empty. The best thing that I did for myself was leave the boyfriend considering he was causing me more pain then making me happy. This hurt to do but in the end, I have grown from the experience regardless of the pain it caused. The people in your life should love you no matter what and if they don’t, let them go. Don’t let a singular person determine your worth. Trust yourself to make the right decision when it comes to who you surround yourself with.
“Dear Coach, I want to quit.” The amount of times I have wanted to walk up and say this to my coach is unmatched in 2024. It makes me sad to think that I have wanted to quit a sport for so long due to it being too much. Like really? I felt hopeless in everything. It all became too much to handle on my own. I had to start leaning on people who weren;t involved in the sport. Although they may not play or even understand the sport, they were able to see me and how I was doing. This allowed them to give me strong and helpful advice that benefits me. Athletes work hard. Their bodies and minds are pushed past their limits continuously making it dangerous for their mental and physical health. Each athlete should have at least one to two people they rely on. You need people on your side!
Obviously you can’t expect everything to go your way all the time, but this year I want to take the time to try and improve my life more and more every day by stopping to appreciate the world and people around me. Sometimes you have to go through something horrible to learn a critical life lesson. This is better to do at a younger age so that you can look back on it for the rest of your life. you can learn and experience something new everyday. I can learn how to deal/cope with them better when I’m older? Make 2025 your year!
